October 2009 Movies November 2, 2009
Posted by vorpalkeith in Uncategorized.add a comment
The Alligator People
The Hound of the Baskervilles
Wild Oranges
The Flesh and the Fiends
I Walked With a Zombie
Mad Love
Undead
Cabin Fever
Zombieland *
Tales of Terror
Isle of the Dead
American Psycho
Earth vs. The Flying Saucers
I Sell the Dead
The Wicker Man
Phantasm
I Married a Monster From Outer Space
20 Million Miles to Earth
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (although technically a TV special)
The Mystery of the Wax Museum
Suspiria
John Q
Vampyr: Der Traum des Allan Gray
Morsure (Bitten) #
Battlestar Galactica: The Plan
Teeth
The Black Room
The Man They Could Not Hang
The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror (DVD Compilation of TV Episodes)
* Movies seen in theaters
# Short films
Halloween Horror Countdown 2009: The Death Rattle November 2, 2009
Posted by vorpalkeith in Film Thing.Tags: halloween horror countdown, let the right one in, vampires
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Let the Right One In
2008
Directed by Tomas Alfredson
Of this film, IMDB says the following, “Oscar, an overlooked and bullied boy, finds love and revenge through Eli, a beautiful but peculiar girl who turns out to be a vampire.”
Sounds simple, but it is so much more, and I cannot think of a more appropriate film to finish up the Halloween Season on. This is a horror film done right, with appropriate creepiness, sympathy, and cleverness.
In the world post-Twilight it is so refreshing to come across a truly innovative and intelligent vampire film. I hear that Hollywood plans to make an American version, but that simply isn’t necessary, as I don’t think they could improve on what is here simply by putting American actors in the roles.
I give it five spooky pumpkins out of five.
And with that last gasp, I close out the Halloween Horror Countdown for 2009. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I always do. We now return you to your regularly scheduled website.
Halloween Horror Countdown 2009 Day 16 November 1, 2009
Posted by vorpalkeith in Film Thing.Tags: halloween horror countdown, teeth, the black room, the man they could not hang, the simpsons, treehouse of horror, vagina dentata
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Teeth
2007
Directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein
This is a horror film where the monster is sex. Normally in horror films the monster shows up after the teenagers have sex.
Jess Weixler plays a teenage girl who, while in an attempted rape, discovers she has the mythical condition known as vagina dentata, a toothed vagina. I’ll let that sink in for a minute . . . . a toothed vagina, people!
This was a film that managed to make me genuinely uncomfortable in parts. Maybe it was all the onscreen severed penis. Yeeeeeeeeesh!
The movie would not have worked without Jess Weixler in the lead role. She manages a sincerity that helps make what could have made an incredibly silly and stupid movie actually work.
It’s hard to believe that she could have gotten all the way to high school without even the most basic of geinocological exams, but if you give into that kind of thinking the entire conceit of the movie falls apart.
I give it four spooky pumpkins out of five.
The Black Room
1935
Directed by Roy William Neill
Boris Karloff plays a deranged baron who murders his twin brother in an attempt to steal his identity. He is successful at first but is undone by his brother’s loyal dog.
Never screw with a man and his dog.
I give it one and a half spooky pumpkins out of five.
The Man They Could Not Hang
1939
Directed by Nick Grinde
In the second Boris Karloff film of the night he plays a Doctor who invents a mechanical heart which could lead to virtual immortality. While experimenting with it though he is interrupted and the patient dies on the table. He is arrested for murder and hung. Later, his assistant is able to revive him using the mechanized heart. Then the vengeful doctor goes on a spree of revenge.
The main strength of this film is Boris Karloff. The main weakness is its abrupt ending.
I give it two and a half spooky pumpkins out of five.
Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror
This was a DVD collecting a bunch of the random Simposons Halloween episodes and it represents many of the best, including The Shinning.
Don’t you all remember when the Simpsons was funny? These are nice memories.
“There’s nothing to fear but that fog that turns people inside out.”
I give it four and a half spooky pumpkins out of five.
Halloween Horror Countdown 2009 Day 15 October 31, 2009
Posted by vorpalkeith in Film Thing.Tags: halloween horror countdown, morsure, vampyr
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Vampyr – Der Traum des Allan Grey
1932
Directed by Carl Theodor Dreyer
This film is very old and very nearly silent. I’m going to call shenanigans on one point right out . . . a significant portion of this film is a guy sitting there reading a book about all the cool interesting vampire stuff you’re NOT seeing on screen. For shame!
The excessive quiet works to it’s advantage in the scenes where things do happen though, as it gives a sense of true isolation.
There’s some truly remarkable effects done entirely with shadow here, particularly one scene that I have absolutely no idea how they did considering the year. It had to have been stand-in’s, a cut, and a lighting change we can’t notice. It had to have been . . .
I give it two spooky pumpkins out of five.
Morsure (Bitten)
2007
Directed by David Morlet
This was a short film from France that played at Sundance. Christian sent me a link to it online (you will be able to watch it on youtube) I’m assuming because it reminded him of when we filmed Conversations at the End of the World. Crazy times. My mom was not happy that I drenched the basement in Christian’s blood (it was fake, I swear).
Anyway, this 13 minute long film was a fairly conventional zombie piece, but well produced.
I give it three spooky pumpkins out of five.
Halloween Horror Countdown 2009 Day 14 October 28, 2009
Posted by vorpalkeith in Film Thing.Tags: charlie brown, great pumpkin, halloween horror countdown, peanuts, snoopy, suspiria, the mystery of the wax museum
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It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
1966
Directed by Bill Melendez
Perfect! My childhood alive.
Five spooky pumpkins out of five.
The Mystery of the Wax Museum
1933
Directed by Michael Curtiz
Let’s just all degree that wax museums are creepy, shall we?
I give it one spooky pumpkin out of five.
Suspiria
1977
Directed by Dario Argento
This is considered one of the classics of the horror genre, undeservedly so I’d say. Sure, it’s atmospheric, but that’s about all it is. I found myself getting lost in the story, which had to do with a witches coven based in a ballet school.
High point was seeing someone killed by falling into a pit of razor wire.
I give it two spooky pumpkins out of five.
“Don’t drink that. There was a fish swimming around in the percolator.” October 26, 2009
Posted by vorpalkeith in Podcast Appearances, science.Tags: blob robot, Cine-Rama, plasma knife, twin peaks
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Cine-Rama is back with a brand new episode!
Cine-Rama Podcast Episode 28 – A Damn Fine Cup Of Coffee
Christian and Keith sit down once again with special guest Eric Martin (DC Noise, The Trip, Comics Playground). In this episode they discuss Twin Peaks, the seminal television show from David Lynch and Mark Frost. No backwards talking dwarves were harmed in the making of this episode.
And now links:
US Special Forces are field testing a medical plasma knife which could be the first step towards me actually getting a lightsaber. http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2009-10/us-special-forces-field-test-plasma-knife
The amazing! The crawling! The disgusting! The blob robot! http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2009-10/cronenbergian-blob-bot-ready-roll-or-rather-ooze
A Rant October 22, 2009
Posted by vorpalkeith in Life The Universe and Everything.4 comments
Those of you who follow me on Twitter will not that I had some things to say about this particular article. I felt I needed to go into a little more detail on why it bothered me so I’ve decided to give it a full blog write-up.
First, please read the article. And, as always, bear in mind that your mileage may vary.
I was a little offended by it. I don’t see why any woman wouldn’t either.
There are three points upon which this bothers me:
1) It assumes that nerds (note the subtle hint of disdain) are an oppressed minority. That’s just silly, and was played out in the 1980’s. We live in a world where things like Battlestar Galactica win Peabody Awards, nerds are billionaires, and the President of the United States collects Spider-Man and Conan comics.
2) It assumes that all men are scum. Any reasonable person knows this is patently untrue. Guys who are shy around men don’t have an added advantage of assuaged penis guilt, they are just reacting to the natural human fear of getting hurt.
3) It assumes that women are victims. The women that I know and choose to spend time with – and, yes, pursue relationships with – certainly aren’t. They’re strong, independent people that take no crap from anyone.
The author of the article says that he is intereste in what the role of men are in society. What it takes to be a man. That’s simply a matter of having testes. If his concern is about what it means to be a good man or a bad man, though, those are issues that have nothing to do with genitals.
Maybe my main problem is that he treats human beings, and human emotions as an academic problem. Not an individual basis.
To quote Patrick McGoohan from The Prisoner, “I am not a number!”
Halloween Horror Countdown 2009 Day 13 October 22, 2009
Posted by vorpalkeith in Film Thing.add a comment
20 Million Miles to Earth
1957
Directed by Nathan Juran
This film is a stark example of why you should never remove animals from their natural environment. Especially if that natural environment is the planet Venus. Because they could become titanic stop-motion monsters and fuck some serious shit up!
Apparently the creature in this movie is known as the Ymir, but I have no idea how they arrived at that as it never seems to be mentioned at any point in the film. That’s not important though.
What is important is that the stop-motion is done by Ray Harryhausen! And the Ymir fights a fucking elephant!
I give it three spooky pumpkins out of five.
Halloween Horror Countdown 2009 Day 12 October 19, 2009
Posted by vorpalkeith in Film Thing.Tags: halloween horror countdown, i married a monster from outer space
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I Married a Monster From Outer Space
1958
Directed by Gene Fowler Jr.
The tagline for this movie was apparently “The Bride Wore Tear!” which I think is just the best thing that I’ve heard all day.
Girls: never marry a monster from outer space. I’m normally in support of mixed marriages, but this movie shows it just won’t work out. It will only end in heartbreak and ray guns. Mostly, ray guns.
Maybe I’m strange, but I found myself sympathizing with the alien invaders. All they wanted was for their species to surviving. Maybe I’m strange . . . or maybe I feel this way because I am, in fact, a monster from outer space.
I give it one and a half spooky pumpkins out of five.
Halloween Horror Countdown 2009 Day 11 October 18, 2009
Posted by vorpalkeith in Film Thing.Tags: halloween horror countdown, i sell the dead, phantasm, the wicker man
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I Sell the Dead
2009
Directed by Chris McQuaid
One of my rules in film is that if it has Ron Perlman in it, I will watch it. It rarely lets me down. It certainly didn’t this time.
This is a delightfully fun little film that deals with two grave robbers (sort of comedy versions of Burke and Hare – see my Flesh and the Fiends review) who get in over their heads when they rob the grave of a vampire. They soon find that they’ve become experts trading in a very specialized commodity, the undead.
There are a lot of fun little twists and turns that I don’t want to spoil about this given that its such a new movie, but it’s really a lot of fun. Also, I simply love the way this film was shot. The cinematography, and composition and layering of multiple shots, mixed with art as though from out of an old EC Horror comic just works magically.
Five out of five spooky pumpkins.
The Wicker Man
1973
Directed by Robin Hardy
Christopher Lee!!!!
There, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system . . .
There’s really no point of me going into a lengthy description of the story of this, seeing as everyone kind of already knows it, so I’m just going to dive right in and comment on a few things.
The visual aestetic of this movie is nutso. With its small-town setting, wild characters, and random song it’s almost like a lost episode of The Prisoner that no one ever dared watch.
The ending of this movie, the thing it is most famous for, and one of the more famous endings in horror history, could very well be one of the worst ways to die that I can think of.
I give it four spooky pumpkins out of five.
Phantasm
1979
Directed by Don Coscarelli
“Are you sure it wasn’t just that retarted kid Timmy from up the street?”
No, actor I don’t recognize, it wasn’t Timmy. It was the Tall Man and his host of midget thralls, preparing to silver sphere your brain to death!
This is kind of one of those classic horror films that was missing from my repertoire. No longer!
I don’t know if I want to call this thing overhyped or not, because it has an interesting concept behind it . . . but man, was this schlocky. Maybe that’s part of the appeal, I dunno. But when the sphere drills into the guy’s head and produces a fount of blood far exceeding the volume a human body could ever hold, you kind of have to stop and say “now just wait a minute.”
Also, the film is guilty of something I hate in horror. The double-twist-gotcha-ending where we are left to believe it never happened, but oh no at the last minute it actually did. You know what I’m talking about.
There are a few glaring continuity errors as well as these nagging questions:
1) How did one simple human move all those heavy boulders by hand?
2) Why did they, when being chased, at no point think to call the cops?
3) When the lead character was in the back of the Tall Man’s hurse shooting out the back window, why didn’t he turn and just cap the yellow-blooded bastard in the back of the head?
“It’s probably just a gopher in heat.”
Still, I’ll give it three spooky pumpkins out of five, schlock and all. Or maybe because of the schlock.
