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Halloween Horror Countdown Pt. 2 October 3, 2008

Posted by vorpalkeith in Movie Review.
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THE BURNING

A touching drama about a man’s attempts to deal with urinary tract infection in a world that just won’t understand.  Wait, that’s not right.  This movie is about a horribly burned and disfigured groundskeeper from a summer camp coming back five years after tha prank that burned him went wrong to murder teenagers.  This is, of course, after he murders an obligatory random hooker.

Your enjoyment of this movie really depends on how much you like random nudity from barely legal girls (me, it turns out, a lot) and how far you’re willing to suspend your disbelief.  If you can suspend your disbelieve enough to accept that a man would sleep in a bed next to a full three-gallon drum of gasoline, then you’re probably willing to accept what’s in the rest of the movie (such as the garden shears that are able to cut through a human skull).

In the humble beginnings category . . . this movie was created by the Weinstein brothers in what I can only assume is one of their earliest efforts that they want to forget.  It also has a very young Fisher Stevens and a very young Jason Alexander (his hair was luxurious!).

I give it 1.5 spooky pumpkins out of 5.

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