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An Open Letter to the Human Race December 1, 2008

Posted by vorpalkeith in Life The Universe and Everything.

Dear Humanity,

I know that we’ve been together a long time, sometimes serious, sometimes casual.  I know you’ve been hoping that I would pop the question and we’d make something serious of this, but I don’t think I can.  I think the time has come that I want to start seeing other species.

You’ve changed over the years.  You’re not the species I thought you were when I was younger and dreaming all those young man dreams about our future together.  You’ve become jaded, and a bit cruel.

Maybe it’s me that’s changed.  I just think it’s best that we move on, before its too late.

Sarcastic fictional letters aside, I have to say that over the past weekend I have had my stomach turned more by people than I have in any other time in recent memory.  Hearing about deaths occurring in greed and frenzy of Black Friday . . .

A gunfight in Toys ‘R Us, for goodness sakes!

A Wal-Mart greeter crushed to death by a surging crowd . . . and then when his coworkers tried to rush in to help him, the price-mad crowd started picking fights with them!

Sometimes this human animal just turns sickens me.  Death and destruction, all in the name of shopping – that most-favorite of modern household gods.

So the moral of the story?  Start shaping up, mankind!  Otherwise I really will start looking for better alternatives.

I wonder if Martian girls are pretty . . .



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