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In Which I Was Tempted To Put Someone Through a Plate-Glass Window April 7, 2009

Posted by vorpalkeith in Life The Universe and Everything.
Tags: ,

Today was a particularly slow day at work, which wasn’t all that bad as I got to nerd it up with some co-workers and what have you.  I was pretty tired too, as I had only a sketchy few hours of sleep from the previous night to hold me over.  The answer to this problem was Chinese food from Imperial, which my brother and I got after our subsequent shifts were both completed.

It would have been the perfect capstone to the day but for the loud and incredibly rude party a few tables over.  It was a group of what the British would call chavs.  Trashy, yuppie, whiteboy wannabes.  One of them was having an intense argument with who I assumed to be his girlfriend, cursing up a storm, flaring his frat boy nostrils, and generally making an abusive ass of himself.  An impressive string of explatives made up the bulk of the monologue.  Honestly, I swear that if they weren’t in a public place he might have taken a swing at her.

I wanted more than anything at that moment to get up, walk over, pick this guy up by the shirt, and ram him about four or five times into his table until the bone structure of his face became a pink, chunky oatmeal.  I know this is not a productive course of action, so I made a deliberate point of trying to mind my own business.  As my brother told me, there’s nothing you can do for that situation to fix it.  It has to be her.  Too true.

All the same . . .  It’s been on my mind since then.

We’ve all seen movies where our quiet calm hero will wander over and remind punks what manners are.  It’s the sort of thing you’d see Clint Eastwood do.  And, despite not doing so, there’s a part of me that truly wished I had.

I guess my point is this.  There are ways to behave in this world, and ways you shouldn’t.  You should do your best in this world to put positive things forward.  Act with courage, courtesy, chivalry, charity, and kindness.  And you NEVER, EVER talk to women like that.  Anything else is just a waste of skin.



1. Christian Kocinski - April 7, 2009

You should have asked him to take it outside…

Or… furthermore, go tell them at the front register. If they don’t do anything about it directly, they can at least call the police.

They were disturbing YOUR meal, and everyone else’s meal around them…

Of course if it were me, I’d probably sit and listen for my own amusement… so what does that say about me as a human being? (I’m sure Keith will tell me a few things that says about me).

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