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Halloween Horror Countdown 2010 Day 1 October 2, 2010

Posted by vorpalkeith in Film Thing, Movie Review.
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Anyone who has been following my blog for a little while (there are two of you) will know that every October I fill myself like a junkie on horror films and review the results here. It usually starts off pretty strong, but by the end of the month the inevitable fatigue will have set in and I will no doubt sound loopy as hell.

So without further adieu . . .

DEAD SNOW
2009
Directed by Tommy Wirkola

A ski vacation turns horrific for a group of medical students, as they find themselves confronted by an unimaginable menace: Nazi zombies.

I know what you’re thinking. Sounds like a formula for ultimate win, right? Zombie Nazis. Nazi zombies! You can’t go wrong. And yet . . .

Look. There’s no reason for these zombies to have been Nazis. It has absolutely nothing to do with anything. They could have just as easily been pirates, cowboys, farmers, or any other adjective. If you’re trying to sell me on the premise of Nazi zombies, at least make the fact that they are Nazis as important as the fact they’re zombies.

It was fun. I will certainly give it that. You should check it out with a group of buddies and MST3K your way through it. Once.

Just once.

I give it two spooky pumpkins out of five.

SHARKTOPUS
2010
Directed by Declan O’Brien

For the life of me I was convinced this was directed by Roger Corman. Did he just produce it? Anyone with more knowledge, please clear this up for me, because for the longest time I was expecting Cormantacularness.

This is a movie about a shark. An octopus. Mash them together with a crazy military experiment designed by Eric Roberts and you get a Sharktopus.

This movie is terrible. We knew this going in. The acting is awful (with the possible exception of Ralph Garman as a ridiculous pirate radio host). The CGI is horrible (it is a SyFy original, after all).

But you know what this movie does have? A Sharktopus! A Sharktopus that walks on land and is programmed to kill. How sweet is that?

Two spooky pumpkins out of five.

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