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When Dating Died June 13, 2011

Posted by vorpalkeith in Uncategorized.
Tags: , ,

This post came to my mind when I saw someone on Facebook recently state that they had a secret admirer.  The immediate response afterwards was from a friend cautioning that this was no doubt a stalker and to be careful.

It blew my mind a little bit.  When did this simple staple of good old fashioned romance become a sign of ill intent?

I understand that we don’t live in a bucolic 1950’s American dream.  Such a thing was never even a reality anyway.  And the 21st century is bigger, faster, and scarier than anything we’ve ever encountered.  Are we so full of fear though, that the idea of young love has become twisted into something that can only ever be ugly?

Honestly, this guy could be the most innocent, sweet, above-board individual out there; and he’s already been cast into a role of suspicion.  He already has to be on the defensive just for being a little shy, or trying to be cute about it.

I’m finding more and more when I look around these days that any attempts at honest (sober, at least) affection from a boy towards a girl is viewed as a prelude to either a crime or an abusive relationship.  If a guy tells a girl he’s interested in her, no longer is it just honesty, now it’s fixation.  Deviance.  I think the kids are calling it “being a creeper”.

It doesn’t stop people from having sex.  Alcohol has guaranteed that people are going to wind up in bed together no matter what.  Jersey Shore brought us the oh-so-lovely acronym “DTF”, which is apparently what you shout at people when you’re drunk and “Down To Fuck”.  Instead of being viewed as the height of awful behavior, this is our modern mating call.

Dinner and a movie?  Too creepy!  Hook up while drunk?  That’s the flavor of a new generation.

How did saying you like someone come to be viewed as a negative thing?    What the hell happened to the world?  Is it really that bad out there and I just didn’t notice?  Are people really as awful as all that?

I hope not.

But, statistics would imply that 1 in 3 women in the United States will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime.  The math says, “Yes, people REALLY are as awful as that.  Worse even.”

I hate when math tells me painful truths.  Dammit, we SHOULD be better people.

At the end of the day, what choice does anyone have but to be terrified when all these facts and figures exist?  When evil is a very real thing, acted upon daily in the world?

And maybe the last casualty of our casual cruelty to one another is a simple idea like romance.  I can’t help but think of this poor boy who was the secret admirer they spoke of.  Having done nothing wrong but daring to care.  With all the beautiful things being willfully destroyed, I just hate to think that fear is destroying what beauty remains.



1. Mike Kabongo - June 13, 2011

Ya, societal “alienation of affection” been creeping into the American psyche since the mid 80s at least. And I LOATHE that drivel about 1 in 3 women. It falls into the category, no it just plain defines the third of Twains category of lies. While no less horrible, the truth is that statistic takes every case of sexual assault committed and throws them out like a blanket at every woman. The truth is some women are victimized more than once sometimes in the most gruesome cases a double digit number of times. Kinda skews the numbers a touch…

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